General Wilfred Scott Would Have Had is Own Ways of Dealing with the January 6th Mob

A serious plot to kill Abraham Lincoln may or may not have existed. (Four years later an equally frothy situation did in fact produce a John Wilkes Booth, completed with a loaded derringer; it would develop eventually that in a time of civil war the most grotesque improbabilities can be built on ugly facts.) Washington had been full of ominous rumors all winter. The War Department had gone to great lengths to build up a thoroughly loyal home guard in the District of Columbia to prevent a seizure of power by secessionist sympathizers, and Winfield Scott had remarked that the general tension was such that "a dog-fight might cause the gutters of the capital to run with blood." Just before Lincoln left Springfield, a citizen visited the old general to ask whether precautions had been taken to make sure that Congress could formally count the electoral vote; it was being rumored that a mob would rise and prevent it, thus (presumably) making it impossible for Lincoln to take office. 

"I supposed I had suppressed that infamy," said General Scott. "Has it been resuscitated? I have said that any man who attempted by force or unparliamentary disorder to obstruct or interfere with the lawful count of the electoral vote for President and Vice-President of the United States should be lashed to the muzzle of a twelve-pounder and fired out of a window of the Capitol. I would manure the hulls of Arlington with the fragments of his body, were he a Senator or chief magistrate of my native state!" Subsiding a little, the general added: "While I command the army there will be no revolution in Washington."

L.E. Chittenden, Recollections of President Lincoln and his Administration, New York, 1891. p. 37-39

in

The Coming Fury: Volume One in the American Civil War Trilogy by Bruce Catton, 1961. p. 224 (I think?)

Postcrossing

This month I signed up for Postcrossing, a postcard exchange. I already sent my first five postcards (to Germany, Netherlands, England, China, and Japan) within the last week and now I wait for them to be received and for my first five to come. Tonight I wrote my profile which I think does a good job of summarizing where I am in life:

Hello - my name is T.J. (Thomas James). I loved the idea of Postcrossing  when I heard about it. I used to have pen pals - for language exchanges, to learn of life abroad (of which I was so interested) - and I miss those interactions. I have few opportunities for grand adventures anymore. These days two toddlers call me Daddy and that encompasses most of my time. So, I must find adventures locally, or through books, or through postcards from world abroad.

About me:

My family teases that I always have my nose in a book. I read about 50 a year, mostly non-fiction. Sometimes I worry I won't think of a good next book to read  and sometimes I worry I won't live long enough to read everything on my list.

I like to exercise (barbell weightlifting, sometimes running). I wish I could swim proper strokes better, I'd like to learn. I'm not sure if its a midlife crisis but I'm considering martial arts, like judo (I used to wrestle long ago). Actually, I wish I had a craftier hobby, where I could make something with my hands. Making my own journals sounds interesting. I used to play  music (trombone, harmonica, my brother taught me some drums, I taught myself some piano - but all are mostly forgotten) and would love to find an outlet for that again. I suppose my only "artistic" outlet now is cooking. I come from a family of feeders (it's quite the family trait - my mother has it, her sister has it, my grandfather had it, I have it). Make more than what you need is the menu-planning philosophy. I want to learn to make bread and pastries better.

I used to love to hike and camp semi-regularly. Being in nature is very centering to me. I'm taking my eldest camping for the first time next year. She'll be content to be near a river she can throw rocks in.

When I would travel, seeing the landmarks was nice, but one only meets other tourists. I liked to sneak into everyday places - the public transit, the grocery stores, the libraries, even the churches, just to be among the locals. But I still find I have plenty to explore in my region, even my hometown.

My superpower is I can sit quietly alone in a room for a long, long time.

In school my teachers singled me out for notoriously bad handwriting. I haven't practiced much since school. My wife asks me to decipher my love notes to her. That is to say, if I write something you can't read, I am sorry. :)

I have studied at some point, and would be happy to receive a postcard in: Spanish, French, Latin (I'd be very impressed to receive a Latin postcard), Italian, and Portuguese. Actually, I'd be happy to read a card in any language.

If you can't think of anything else, tell me a favorite recipe or local food I should try, a place in your hometown or country I should visit, a phrase in your language, or even just about your daily routine.

More than anything I'm curious about you and where you come from, and I'm interested. It's never a bad day if I learned something new.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Inherently Funny Words: Buh-, Puh-, Kuh-

This morning on my daily COVID-19 walk I listened to Charles Duhigg's How To! podcast, specifically the episode "How To Be Funny". The episode featured comedian Gary Gulman, who explained to a pastor seeking to liven up his sermons that certain words are just inherently funny - a general rule are words starting with the buh-, puh-, or kuk- sounds ("Chicken is funny while "hen" is not).

I saw Jerry Seinfeld mention the concept of an inherently funny word as well in a New York Times video some time ago, that "pop tart" was just an inherently funny word (notice that puh- sound!). This is also not new nor secret, as I read today on Wikipedia; Neil Simon noted inherently funny words in his 1972 play, Sunshine Boys:

Fifty-seven years in this business, you learn a few things. You know what words are funny and which words are not funny. Alka Seltzer is funny. You say 'Alka Seltzer' you get a laugh ... Words with 'k' in them are funny. Casey Stengel, that's a funny name. Robert Taylor is not funny. Cupcake is funny. Tomato is not funny. Cookie is funny. Cucumber is funny. Car keys. Cleveland ... Cleveland is funny. Maryland is not funny. Then, there's chicken. Chicken is funny. Pickle is funny. Cab is funny. Cockroach is funny – not if you get 'em, only if you say 'em.

Economists on Screen

NPR's Planet Money did a 4-part (that I could find) series, "Economists on Screen" about a year ago. Wait, no John Nash?

1. Episode 1: Crazy Rich Asians
2. Episode 2: Jack Ryan
3. Episode 3: Aaron Sorkin (really The West Wing)
4. Episode 4: Stockholm 

For the record, literally none of these are even a tiny bit accurate.

Social distancing *does* work

It *will* prevent the spread of the coronavirus

Also, all other infectious diseases

Just like abstinence prevents pregnancy

The world holds many dangers so we should say indoors

There'd be no air crashes if we never flew

Don't lift heavy you'll hurt your back

Avoid running if you want to keep your knees

We should ban youth football to protect youth's brains

Outlaw pools to eliminate drownings

Note there's no birth defects if we never had children

Don't wonder what's around the next corner (it might be trouble)

And most of all, note that if we never risked love, there'd be no heartbreak