Krispie Kreme Cometh

Krispie Kreme Donut shop grand openings are *the* place to be (as Krispie Kreme has informed me). Having previously never been to one, I was given the chance this morning to fill the void that I had never even known existed. At 5:30am today, Krispie Kreme opened up shop at its newest location on Dupont Circle (colloquially known as "The Fruit Loop"). The first person in line was to receive a year’s supply of free donuts, the next 100 get free t-shirts...etc., etc.: I kinda skimmed over that info in the paper; I have a firm grasp of my condition of not being able to get up at 4:30am or earlier to get in line for free donuts that will just make me fat anyway. "Oh, but then hey!" They’re giving out free donuts all day. That I can do. That I must do.

I walked with Becca to the Foggy Bottom metro (she needed to leave for Philadelphia for a conference) at 7:00am and then set out on my holy quest: free food. Mmmm....donuts...(gurgle...).

As I got closer to Dupont Circle, I saw the occasional pedestrian eating a donut. As I got closer and closer to Dupont Circle, the donuts in the hands of those I passed became less and less eaten. I was gettin’ closer, baby.

I found it, just where Mapquest said it would be (my journey was planned during my laborious two minutes of preparation the prior night). Although the actual store wasn’t open (and this was a scary two minutes for me) they were handing out free donuts on the other side of the store on the street. A lady just had her donut cart out there and was simply whisking them out to passerbys. "Hello, the store opens at 10!" she told me, but I had already gotten what I came for. Actually, I found out where the donuts were being handed out when I saw the TV cameras covering the event just as I got on the circle. Mmmm....my chocolate icing-ed glazed gooey goodness....(gurgle). Capitalizing on the donut-hungry crowd was a stew of miscellaneous interests which thrust pamphlets in my hand as I walked away: Re-elect Harold Brazil, Jews for Jesus, Violet Garden Chinese Restaurant, etc. Might I add: the Jews for Jesus girl was a total cutie...I almost was swept under her hypnotic spell. (though, I’m not Jewish so I don’t think they’d want me). Oh, the vile tactics employed by that sinister cult!!!

Krispie Kreme has a pretty sweet seat there on Dupont: it’s right at the exit to the metro station there. Who wouldn’t stop in for a donut? They’re gonna hit all those commuters. It would be quicker to just have a machine injecting lard into people’s arms as they passed by. I think when I come back to visit D.C. the next time, there’s gonna be a lot more of it to love.