In Which I Enter the 2012 Olympic Quad-Off

Since at least high school I've always had big thighs. Strong, but big. Buying pants was difficult. In the 90s you were labled gay if your pants were any less than falling-off-your-waist baggy. Additionally, my big thighs were attached to what the other guys dubbed my "girl's butt". Getting changed for gym or weighing-in for wrestling were always embarrassing. Roberta says that they were all just jealous, that such assets on men are prized in Brazil. I only I had been born there instead, it could have all been so different.

I wondered what sport my legs would be most valuable for. Well, of course they'd be useless in all of them given my complete absence of any athletic ability.

On Sunday, this photo flew around the Internet, showing German Olympic sprint cyclist Robert "Mr. Thigh" Förstemann surpassing teammate Andre "Gorilla" Greipel in the "2012 Olympic Quad-Off":

German Cyclist Robert Förstermann Clearly Wins the 2012 Olympic Quad-Off

Roberta thought the image was photoshopped. I figured the Olympics is full of genetic freaks, anyway, and certainly those cyclists work their thighs. This would be the logical consequence.

Yesterday morning The New York Times published an article featuring Förstermann (inspired by the quad-off photo) entitled "Thigh-Popping Success on a Bike Lies in the Quads". Interestingly, the article linked to a blog post specifying the proper technique for measuring a thigh's circumference, and also listed a few athletes' measurements:

• Förstermann's thighs measure 34 inches (bigger than his waist, incidentally)
• Chris Hoy, a British cycling sprinter who collected his fifth gold medal on Sunday, has 27 inch thighs
• Polled athletes considered the minimal acceptable thigh circumference to be 23.6 inches. 

I could barely wait until I got home to learn how I, a mere-mortal, stacked up to Olympians. So, more or less: 24 and one-quarter inches. At least over the Olympic threshold! As I'm sure my lung capacity is much below the Olympic threshold, I doubt I'll be making any appearances in Rio de Janeiro, four years from now.

Still, I always loved riding a bike. I haven't ridden in a year or so, and then another year before that, so scared was I after a bad poison ivy episode I got on the Blackstone River Bikeway when I first moved to Rhode Island. I already planned to bring my bike to the shop this week for repairs to make the trek up to Lexington and Concord before the summer ends. Perhaps this photo is timely - motivation? I'll tape a photo of Förstemann's legs to my bedroom mirror to stare at before I go to the gym in the morning. Mr. Thigh wins the Quad-Off this year, but maybe we'll see you in Rio!