What follows is the entirety of my tweeting history - all eighty tweets in reverse chronological order going back to my first, "Whole Foods' Oreos are so much better than real Oreos..." back in October, 2010. Links are provided for context...
Wed Aug 01 2012 00:25:14
Through #Olympics #diving I will learn to count to three in all languages
Mon Jun 11 2012 02:53:15
Today, in Kmart, I realized, at 30, I still cannot fully differentiate between men and women's #sunglasses
Sun Jun 10 2012 12:39:02
My @aolmail was #hacked last night and I don't even use it!
Sat Jun 09 2012 01:29:33
President #Obama is sad (http://t.co/Qw3oOkVS). Maybe it's something we did. @BarackObama
Thu May 03 2012 00:22:11
What if you could become President but it would mean all the love letters of your youth would become public?
Wed May 02 2012 12:32:52
Christmas mornings were me up at 4am, watching the @weatherchannel, waiting for family to wake. Thanks for the memories! #30yearsofTWC
Tue Apr 17 2012 02:39:29
The Tupac hologram reminds me in the #80s there was already a hologram musician: #Jem. And the holograms. It was a show for girls.
Sat Apr 07 2012 23:47:10
I kind of loved #AmericanReunion (@AmericanPie) - Class of '99 Rules!!!
Fri Apr 06 2012 19:18:59
Quid est veritas? ("What is truth?"; John 18:38) - Pontius Pilate
Tue Apr 03 2012 13:47:57
Sunday's @60Minutes @sanjayguptaCNN segment recommends #sugar reduction - but today *is* @benandjerrys #FreeConeDay...
Sat Mar 17 2012 20:44:24
The @McDonald's #ShamrockShake should be available in Dublin year-round
Fri Mar 09 2012 12:36:17
At 30 I can still fit into my high school clothes - though I used to wear my high school clothes two sizes too large...
Mon Feb 27 2012 02:29:01
The #Oscars is my annual loading of more films into my already bloated @Netflix queue
Sat Jan 14 2012 15:30:35
The eternal problem: brand new sneakers making your socks look dirty #somethingsneverchange
Tue Dec 06 2011 01:16:44
If Charlie Brown saw what Christmas has become in 2011, I can guarantee that eggnog would shoot out of his nipples. http://t.co/0WQN0u7m
Sun Dec 04 2011 19:22:56
Oh, you're cold Rose? You're cold? B*tch, I'm the one in the f*cking water! God, just let me die in peace! #titanic http://t.co/u5ons38n
Sat Dec 03 2011 20:05:41
An encomium to Martha Stewart http://t.co/HAY8jPAw
Fri Dec 02 2011 03:05:43
@GDeLaurentiis phony macaroni!!
Thu Dec 01 2011 01:37:30
Michael Jackson's teenage children have deeper voices than their adult father had #xfactor
Wed Nov 30 2011 13:53:45
Unappealing #IceCream Flavors Created on @IronChefAmerica http://t.co/Jb1urHWJ
Tue Nov 29 2011 14:20:31
Definitely heading back to @planet_fitness today, yesterday showed me I need it - gotta work off that turkey! http://t.co/EwVYTYfS
Mon Nov 28 2011 20:38:24
Reading Amis on #Amtrak while others watch "Captain America" http://t.co/ldUnpAQu
Sun Nov 27 2011 16:41:00
Mass Destruction: This Sunday, a New #Catholic Mass http://t.co/dlxbKNcv @roccopalmo
Sat Nov 26 2011 15:25:10
"What is good is easy to get" -Epicurus http://t.co/sMCKgMgL #blackfriday
Fri Nov 25 2011 14:28:50
The Godfather was the most time-expensive movie I watched Thanksgiving, thanks in part to the @Walmart #BlackFriday ads http://t.co/VwnteScB
Thu Nov 24 2011 4:44:07
Where Halloween and Christmas meet http://t.co/Ybm7oEtq
Wed Nov 23 2011 17:16:42
Thanksgiving and gluttony: one day of overeating should in no way be a problem - the issue is overeating 300 other days of the year...
Sun Nov 20 2011 03:48:21
Danger Mouse cartoonist Mark Hall dies http://t.co/KKx3p3Hi Celebrated his creation with an afternoon of youtube #Dangermouse
Sat Nov 19 2011 03:43:02
@audiofil_es Happy 1 Week! Funny, I'd been looking for new #podcasts & radio content - now I don't have enough time for all this goodness!
Fri Nov 18 2011 18:58:14
Hey @usedgov I sent in my last #gradschool #studentloan payment today! Though it's been a pleasure, all good things come to an end!!! :)
Thu Nov 17 2011 03:39:13
What does it feel like to sing back-up for an #XFactor contestant you have more talent than? Like losing a winning lottery ticket?
Sat Nov 12 2011 20:12:45
Ouch but yes @MaryPols - More than 24 hours has passed since I watched the new @AdamSandler movie Jack and Jill and I am still dead inside
Sat Nov 12 2011 01:08:26
Apparently, Vladivostok also recently hosted a #poledancing competition http://t.co/XiqXhSgI
Fri Nov 11 2011 19:49:01
Catching up on @BBCFooC, Reggie Nadelson says Vladivostok is %62 women. Found a photo succinctly capturing the range: http://t.co/oTab03cc
Fri Nov 11 2011 16:14:57
Oh $&#@!, I missed 11:11:11!!! #111111111111 #fail
Fri Nov 1 2011 01:34:41
Hey @TheMAURYShow, my girlfriend is cook me chicken tetrazzini tonight - the most seductive of all pastas....
Thu Nov 10 2011 22:03:15
Tomorrow is 11/11/11 - but I remember back on 9/9/99, at the #MTV #VMAs, when Diana Ross touched @LilKim boobie
Tue Nov 08 2011 02:31:14
Dr. Claw #DoctorsBetterThanConradMurray
Sun Nov 06 2011 12:47:45
#daylightsavings and it feels so good....
Sat Nov 05 2011 12:32:25
“You know something I don’t like? Chocolate chip cookies.” RIP Andy Rooney #60minutes
Wed Nov 02 2011 15:04:24
Belated Halloween: yesterday I found zombie (moldy) lemons in my all lemon-citrus bag - thought at first they were limes.... #thehorror
Tue Nov 01 2011 14:15:21
@ghweldon Thanks for reminding me of "The Halloween That Almost Wasn't" (childhood fav): recognized the lines instantly, youtubed with glee
Mon Oct 31 2011 14:14:58
It makes me so sad when TV doesn't acknowledge the season by running content *not* Halloween-themed
Sun Oct 30 2011 12:51:09
Yesterday I finally saw "The Thing" and for the rest of the day accused my girlfriend of being "The Thing"
Sat Oct 29 2011 01:14:29
When The #Simpsons started, Bart was older than me and over the course of the series I surpassed him in age. Will I do the same for Homer?
Fri Oct 28 2011 21:08:06
Parents remembered to bring all their children on vacation to Paris. #shorterfilms
Thu Oct 27 2011 19:01:42
@sternbergh Because Hansel is so hot right now
Tue Oct 25 2011 14:11:57
I only today connected Col. Gaddafi w/ Col. Kataffy of the Simpsons' 'Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Choc-O-Bot Hour' #tenyearslate
Sat Oct 22 2011 13:21:02
"The only asset the old [Lepcha] possess...is their children's love" -#deBeauvoir #TheComingofAge
Sat Oct 15 2011 18:39:12
@OccupyProv So, is Providence occupied?
Fri Oct 14 2011 21:20:36
"Pop Up Video" and "Beavis and Butt-Head" are back on TV - is it the 90s all over again? #thebestdecade
Wed Oct 12 2011 14:10:45
Dear @EDPressSec, @usedgov, and @arneduncan: I hope http://t.co/2evBhcGM is the new Qwikster. This is horrible. #directloans
Sun Oct 09 2011 01:33:52
Once you've seen a Pop Up Video, you can never go back to it without Pop Ups
Mon Sep 19 2011 20:08:38
In "The Lion King", Mr. Bean was Zazu?!
Tue Aug 30 2011 18:16:53
Dancing with the Stars, Dancing with the "Stars", or "Dancing" with the "Stars"?
Sun Aug 28 2011 00:52:11
If we lose power from #HurricaneIrene, 5 min tops before I go buckwild on the ice cream in my freezer
Thu Aug 04 2011 16:56:19
"To ill a mockingbird" - Protagonist's ethical dilemma on whether to knowingly spread avian flu #bookswithonelettermissing
Fri Jul 01 2011 16:00:15
It's a funny thing, walking out of your front door before an epic journey. A simple step with huge consequences. #flyingdowntorio
Fri Jun 24 2011 11:34:44
Man, I'm sure all day #TSA people are smelling nasty feet and patting down sweaty people. I'd be cranky, too....
Wed Jun 22 2011 20:19:41
@nytimes w/ 2011 #commencement speeches: http://t.co/Hf4LyeZ my all-time (biased!) fav: http://t.co/SXpaYRI - most truth per min! #sunscreen
Fri Jun 17 2011 02:35:59
Meant to work on my ppt presentation tonight, but instead watched "Boxing Gym" on @PBS (awesome!) Now all I want to do is work out!
Sun Jun 12 2011 18:27:49
Bottega's pistachio gelato....how will I ever be able to leave Seattle tonight?
Thu Jun 09 2011 14:36:43
Prepping for Seattle trip tomorrow, is #flannel still in?
Wed Jun 08 2011 20:52:13
You can influence people, @Pogue, but can you win friends?...
Wed Jun 08 2011 14:39:25
@Delta changed my Friday itinerary and laid down the challenge: 38-minute connection at #DTW. Bring it on.
Wed Jun 08 2011 00:45:24
RIPTA free tomorrow, air quality forecast so poor
Tue Jun 07 2011 16:38:04
Watched snapping turtles building nests for eggs this morning in Lonsdale Marsh. Ahhh, #themiracleoflife
Mon Jun 06 2011 19:31:45
Modern civilization grew seedless fruit quicker than resolving seed disposal etiquette... Discretely eating my #cherries...
Sun Jun 05 2011 16:37:47
It's a miracle I made it through Newport's #Cliffwalk yesterday without getting a poison ivy rash...
Sat May 28 2011 17:08:11
I left a chunk of skin on the #EastCoastGreenway this morning...
Sat May 21 2011 14:08:42
#endoftheworldconfessions: Eu roubei pao na casa do Joao...
Fri May 13 2011 19:29:50
Well, so begins the next adventure...
Fri May 06 2011 18:42:01
Have #strawberries become freakishly large in the past several years?
Mon May 02 2011 00:32:50
@longreads Good because I only read Playboy for the interviews...
Wed Apr 27 2011 18:30:41
#nycmarathon2011: Rejected :(
Sat Apr 23 2011 00:29:41
My pizza dough became the #blob...
Thu Mar 17 2011 17:07:38
I have to admit I'm judging people who aren't wearing #green on #stpatricksday
Wed Mar 16 2011 20:54:33
OK, it's not a great song, but how can grown men and women be so cruel to a 13 year-old girl? - Rebecca Black #stopBULLYING
Sat Nov 13 2010 00:02:43
I never anticipated my health economics postdoc involving measures of the Earth's radius...today, that changed...
Fri Oct 15 2010 17:41:05
Whole Foods' Oreos are so much better than real Oreos...
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