Apple

In today's news it mentioned that actress Gwyneth Paltrow had a new baby daughter, whom she named Apple. Now, I must say the name struck me.

I like apples. The taste, the smell, apple pies, apple sauce, dried apple, apple juice, McIntosh, Washington Delicious, McCoun, Johnny Appleseed should have a frickin' monument (though maybe he does - if so I'll have to make a pilgrimage). "Apple" as a name, now I don't know.

What's up with celebrities naming their children "weird" names? What about John or Harry or Susie? Perfectly good names.

Wielding the vast power that only an employee of the United States Census possesses, this morning I ran a little query into common first names of the last census. Big surprise - Apple didn't show up ("Gwenyth" was ranked #3722, basically the bottom. Go fig.).

That being said, if nothing else the kid will have a useful conversation piece as a name. I hope she grows up to like apples, lest she wallow in bitter irony.

And hey, just any common name wouldn’t always pan out. What if I named my son Chris? Chris Christian? Not so much. Apple Christian? Well, better…