I had written a couple times previously last week about a girl I'd met. Well, that's been dead for a week now. I blew it. Well, also, she blew it. We blew it. It got blown.
The night of "Ye olde fight that blewe It", I started drafting an e-mail...that was a week ago, and I haven't touched it since, and thought maybe I could post whatever I had written as a heart-pouring letter that would never be read, sort of like the jilted ex-lover throwing a message in a bottle out to sea. I opened the draft this morning (a virtual time-capsule of my feelings) and...holy %&#@!!!!! It's really graphic. And personal. And often comes across as pathetic. If I posted it I'd have to restrict access to this website and hit myself on the head so even I forgot the password.
Basically it was a lot of "yada yada yada...so you're used to something 'different'?...yada yada yada...call me clueless, but...yada yada yada...you don't know what the word 'explicit' means...yada yada yada...I hope it's not weird now...yada yada yada...you talk too much about ex-boyfriend...". Etc., etc., or as she spelled it ect, ect. She often liked to pat herself on the back for being so blunt, yet it was only gentlemanly restraint that kept me from writing "E-T-C...it's three fuckin' letters, it that too hard to get right?", even before the fight.
Clearly, it was weird now.
I'm not the smoothest guy, and the beauty of e-mail in talking to girls is that there's no pressure to think on your feet (not my forte). E-mail allows one to craft, compose, revise....and as apparently can be best, never hit the send button.
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