Bagpipes

Why are the bagpipes so hated? I think they sound cool. Yet, as they come down the street during a parade, invariably at least some onlookers always give the consequent groan. The comparison(s) I've often heard are that bagpipes sound like "cats being drowned/skinned/strangled/rectal- thermometer -checked/shaved/..." Take your pick. The most un-poetic people never fail to amaze me in invoking great imagery when describing the sounds of the pipes. Why the revulsion? Like I said, I think they sound cool!

Am I the only music lover? A couple years ago on a quiet Sunday around noontime, I was sitting and studying. Suddenly, the Foggy Bottom neighborhood was filled with the melodious tunes of the Highland Bagpipes. Oh, the ecstasy in my heart. Now, some non-music lover chose to begin shouting "stop playing!!!" and "shut the #%&$ up!!!". The pipes were crystal-clear to me on the eighth story, so wherever the shouter was he was likely getting an earful. Now, I couldn't let that tasteless volley go unanswered. So, I ran to my window, slid it open and though I could see neither piper nor shouter, "Keep playing!!!" I answered into the void. The heckler and I continued our urges for a few minutes. Fortunately, the piper listened to me.

Another thing I think would be cool: learning to play the bagpipes. I'd settle just to know "Scotland the Brave", or "Amazing Grace". I could even dress up and march in the parades with the other bagpipers! I think kilts are pretty cool, too. Whoever calls them a skirt should get beat down. Would I ever be able to? I wonder if the other Scottish people wouldn't like me because I'm not Scottish....could they be a xenophobic lot? I've read "MacBeth", watched "Braveheart", and I want to believe in the Loch Ness Monster. Would that be enough to accept me?

Although it may sound it I'm not some kind of Scotophile. I just think bagpipes sound awesome, and furthermore believe the story of myself once in a kilt would be a good story one day. For now, I’m content to be a spectator on the parade sidelines. Hey! If available I'm going to have them played at my funeral...oh, but I'd miss the performance!!!