A Lesson (Hopefully) Learned

I felt more guilty this morning that I have in a long time.

The subway reached my stop, and I got up and turned around towards the door, as I was riding backwards. As I began walking towards the open door, the man directly in front of me was barely (underscore "barely") moving towards the door. He was moving so S-L-O-W-L-Y. I was frustrated at having to wait, only being able to stare at his back as it slowly receded from me. He was a roadblock in the isle. I was at the instant of saying something harshly when I looked down and saw the white stick poking out at the ground in front of him, previously blocked to me by the angle at which I was standing. I then leaned slightly forward and caught a sideways glimpse, confirming what was already obvious, that this man was blind.

I was heavy with guilt the entire walk to work. My feelings of frustration instantly evaporated (and were replaced with ashamed ones) the instant I saw the explanation for the man's slowness. I thought, "what if I had said something?" "Hey, hurry up!" "I haven't got all day!" "Today, please!" I would have looked like a jerk. I would have been a jerk. And I thought, "does not saying anything make me not a jerk?" No, it just saves me from letting the people in the immediate area know what a jerk I was.

OK, enough self-bashing. I'm not a jerk ALL the time. I'm not even sure I was a jerk then, as I didn't know he was blind. A REAL jerk would have saw he was blind and THEN said something. However, "jerk" probably wouldn't be the most fitting word in that scenario.

No, I was impatient. It's worst because I had no reason to be. I wasn't in a hurry to get to work. No one was missing me there. Even if the closed before I got out, the ride to the next stop, a place I'd never gone, would have been an adventure.

I think I was lucky in not saying anything. I was shown what the error of my ways could have been. It was a wake-up call, and I am now resolving to keep my cool until I know the full side of the story. This should apply to not only strangers, but friends as well (to expand the lesson). I think I could learn much from the parable of the impatient fool who almost derided the blind man.