Moms aren't cool

There were so many times I would run home to my mom after a day of working at Stew Leonard's Ice Cream parlor and say, "thank you for dressing like a mom." There were daily examples of 30-40-somethings wearing capri pants, tube tops, and midriffs. That's what girls my age wear.

I think such clothing is inappropriate outside of the generation. Look, power to you if you have a body for it. If you saw "The Thomas Crown Affair" you know that Rene Russo was smokin'. She was 45. I haven't seen her in a midriff though. Not only is it important to act your age, I believe you need to dress your age. I believe some people don't want to admit the fact that they're aging. Dressing like their daughters may help them to feel young, or feel "cool".

News Flash: 'Mom' and 'coolness' are antonyms. There's no intersect. Being a mom disqualifies you from being cool. When you first give birth, the doctor tears up your Cool Card.

I hate it when people say, "I'm a cool mom." (More generally, I hate it when anyone says "I'm a cool ____", or "I'm a laid-back ____") The #1 rule of being cool is that if you have to tell people you're cool, you're not. Even I know that, and I thought calculus homework was fun.

Old people rarely cool. They are a scare group. Frank Sinatra was. The guys from Aerosmith are, though truly only Joe Perry and Steven Tyler. Notice I put Joe Perry's name first. He's cooler.

Some parents consider themselves friends of their kids. They shouldn't be friends, they should be parents. There's a difference, and the attitude of my-kid-is-my-"friend" attitude will cause problems when the child needs to be disciplined. I'm sure there is a correlation with this and undisciplined children. Children need parents, they already have friends.

Parents, have class. Dress like a parent. No midriffs, Ma. Please no pants with writing on the butt.

Honestly, what's "cool" is defined by the current young generation. They're going to give the most meaningful label of cool to whomever. You don't get to call yourself cool. Sorry. If your kids think you are now, that will probably change when they hit 13. Even if you're not cool to them, you can still be a good, classy person. That's pretty cool.

Grandpa Simpson in a flashback told Homer: I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it' anymore and what's 'it' seems weird and scary. I'll happen to you...

Homer said, No way man, I'm gonna rock forever...but then it flashed forward to the present day, and he wasn't rocking anymore.

That’s a bit depressing I know, but not for me. Personally, I’m going to rock forever.